The 1/3 Rule

It doesn’t matter what we say, what we do, how we look or how we choose to spend our time; people will judge us regardless. So we might as well be our truest self and be judged for being authentic too.

Being authentic takes courage because it makes you an easy target for the judgemental comments of fearful people, of which there are many in the world. Only someone with low self-esteem would need to make another look or feel small in order for them to feel big.

Putting on a false, people-pleasing mask so that everyone will like us might help prevent some judgement and rejection but a person’s heart will wither and dry up inside if a false life is lived for too long, creating huge amounts of misery and sadness in the process. 

We are each amazing and unique for different reasons. We should support each other as we develop the courage to drop the masks and become our truest self.

I keep in mind that no matter whatever we say or do… 1/3 of people with hate it… 1/3 of people will be indifferent… and 1/3 of people will love it.

It is impossible to please everyone and trying to do so will be an inevitable failure. Not everyone will like or appreciate our true self and that is okay. I personally don’t like everyone that I meet, so why would it be fair to expect everyone to like me? I don’t even like every song written by my favourite band, so it is a tall order to expect myself to like everyone that I come across. With this in mind, I need to give others the room to not like me either, without taking it personally. To be honest, I meet plenty of people that don’t like me, but not everyone we meet will be on our wavelength or belong to our tribe. As Dita Von Teese elegantly said, ‘You can be the juiciest, ripest peach in the whole damn orchard; but at times, you’re still going to meet people who don’t like peaches.’

People’s likes and dislikes are often wrapped up in all sorts of complexities that are rarely even about us. I once knew a guy that refused to socialise with a friend of mine just because she reminded him of his ex-girlfriend. It can be that superficial.

However, life becomes so much easier when we don’t take stuff like this personally. The faster we let this stuff go, the faster we can just move on with our lives. We win by being our most authentic self, seeking only our own validation. In doing so, 1/3 of people will love it and 1/3 is more than enough. It is only the ego that would demand more.

It is better to be loved by a small crowd for being someone that we really are, than to be liked by a large crowd for being someone who we are not.